Sunday, March 14, 2010

Happy Sunday

So I have to share this awesome book I just got yesterday...So long , Insecurity by Beth Moore...This book is so amazing for me first because I need it and second it is so raw, real , and basically gets the epidemic by it's ugly throat. Beth (like I know her on a first name basis) she is so open about her insecurities which helps me to really identify with mine but every single one she describes I feel like she is describing me so I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I can tell you this much I just know that insecurity is not from the Lord because he is security at it's very definition so it is the enemy which sometimes we are our own worse enemy. I am tired of being insecure and if you are too get this book . I know that Jesus is the only "cure" to this epidemic and this book brings out things that points me to the Healer. Helps me to recognize triggers and false positives as Beth(my new bff) puts it. Plus her humor is always an added bonus! Oh, and most importantly on her blog The LPM blog, she is doing a discussion group on the book. If you get the book let me know since I have 6 followers one of them being myself(don't laugh it was an accident) and I know all of you text me, call me or let's just blog so we can discuss or I can just suck the life out of you with all of my issues...lol...joking. Seriously , I would love to have someone to talk about what we are getting out of the book and minister to each other:) Okay, have a good night and happy spring break .
For HIS Glory,
Leslie

Friday, March 12, 2010

Grumbling

My Lesson today was grumbling. Well, I read about how in between miracles the Israelites grumbled against their leadership and their God Ex.15:24-25 and Ex.16:2-3. Pricilla also asked the question in our "in between" times what are we doing are we thanking and praising him (Philippians 4:6 )or are we complaining as she put it a " grumbling spirit". I could not help but feel a cloud of conviction on me. I quickly remembered when Jason and I were house hunting and I found "the house"....... To me it was my dream house I loved it . Well, because of property tax and something called PMI it pushed it out of our monthly price point . Needless to say I threw a literal fit I mean I screamed and cried I threw myself on my bed in tears called my mom and anyone else who would sympathize and listen. I think I even stomped my feet I threw a bigger fit than Ella my 3 year old . It's funny because I started that story out with I remember and it was last week. Okay to save a little face here I am pregnant and some hormones were involved okay. In the midst of my extreme disappointment the Lord was working and in between sobs I did say whatever and wherever it will be it will be good. I cannot help but to laugh my poor mom after several days of crying and whining she told me "Leslie today I want you to praise him all day and do not do anything else just a whole day of praise". Well,
I cannot tell you how that blessed me...... I cried not because of my fit throwing but because I recalled how far the Lord has brought me and all he has given me.....I repented. So, I come to this when my next "in between time" comes I will choose to praise him and come to him with thanksgiving and praise and choose to think on the things that are worthy of his praise and things that are lovely, the things that are true there are 5 more see Philippians4:8. Although I failed that test miserably just like the Israelites did back in the old I will embrace the next test with a hopeful and humble heart. Just a little update and praise report which I did NOT deserve but I am so grateful for the Lord put in our path the builder of the house I loved and is building the same house down the street at our price point . The builder is a christian and we are so excited.
If I just would have waited on the Lord with a heart full of praise I would have saved myself the shame of the "grumbling spirit" I hope you learn from my mistake and thank him today because he worthy and all deserving.
For HIS Glory,
Leslie

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Chaos


Day :one
A speaker phone conference with Easton's teacher ,sped teacher, all therapist's , school counselor , and school principal
Conference begins part 1
I am on speaker talking ...minor background noise.....noise is louder...
I decide to in my closet to hear.... in the middle of the Principal telling us she is so glad we are such good supportive parents .....A loud wail and Easton running and telling me to come quick...Go into girls room and Ezra Claire has pulled the end table on top of herself
me on phone:I can not talk my daughter is hurt (from obvious neglect) and I hang up , in the middle of the good parent speech...Check Ezra Claire out she is fine....
Call back
Conference part 2
Principal asks what happened I shamefully skip the hiding in my closet part, but tell her Ezra Claire is ok
Good parent speech back on... feeling guilty about that speech...
Hang up and proceed to yell at Easton for not doing his homework and Ella for pinching him...
Ezra has dirty diaper
help E with homework
Dinner time
Make taco soup
We eat dinner
bathe girls
too tired to bring Easton to jui jitsu
by the way the house looks like a bomb went off
Jason is working late
he comes home takes over tells me to lay down(strange) but I am thrilled
he Plays with kids
puts them to bed
I am watching Idol
Rubs my feet (very strange) but equally as thrilled
I ask him what he wants he laughs and asks how do I know him so well
He goes to ji jitsu for his late class due to a good foot rub
The house is quiet
Sleep

Okay so the alarm starts to go off at 5:30 Jason continually hits snooze.
6:45 am Ezra Claire is screaming I feel like I am still vividly dreaming !

Ella is up and immediately whining because she wants scrambled eggs not fried ....I have a headache and need coffee badly...she settles for lucky charms ....Thank you Lord!

Ella goes to tinkle like the "big girl" she is... the toilet overflows

Ella is now running through the house screaming and we don't have a plunger.

Jason is now in a rush to leave for work and get Easton to school but has to check Easton's homework because I do not know how to do fractions or word problems...NICE

do puzzle with Ella ,play beauty and the beast with Ella ,play babies with ella and Effy...

Nap time for Ezra Claire ....Ella and I play memory

Effy wakes up ...I make lunch

WE eat I build them a tent....please do not be mislead into thinking I play like this daily with them ....this is a mere desperate attempt to try to make up for yesterday's chaos and past guilt oh and to minimize todays chaos

Too late Ella has brought out every toy from her closet while Effy dumps all the ones I just picked up...Effy has a bead in her mouth and Ella is wanting yet another snack I give her a choice goldfish or string cheese her answer is "I want something better" ....translation...Chocolate
We are out and now we are both depressed...

We play watch Dora ...nap time #2 for Ezra Claire aka Effy...#1 for Ella

They are sleeping I do my quiet time
PRAISE YOU LORD
Colossians 1:29 "to this end I labor , struggling with all HIS energy,which so powerfully works with in me"
Ps: I left out some yelling for the sake of my character;)
Pss: excuse grammer and spelling ...I dont even feel like it

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Encouragement

So I mentioned in the last blog about my bible study and how it has really been so good for this season of my life . Well, today Pricilla picked back up in Exodus with the Israelites after being in the wilderness where the Lord was"positioning" them for the Red Sea miracle. Then right after the parting of the Sea they were back in the wilderness and they were thirsty and came to Marah(Exodus 15:23) they could not drink that water because it was bitter... Marah means bitter. By the way I am paraphrasing Pricilla's study so most of this is from the study not me:)..Anyway, so she pointed out that the Israelites were disappointed , frustrated ,and angry.Then she talked about how we sometimes are thirsty and needing an answer to prayer and the outcome we thought was our big break was not what we expected. What happens then ? Are we then angry with God? I mean this has certainly happened to me. It has happened to David as well in 1Chronicles 13:2-12 when he wanted to bring the Arc of the Lord back to the city and Uzzah was struck down dead. Needless to say David was angry with the Lord and afraid. Just like with David he did something David did not understand and he has done things in many different circumstances that I still do not understand but I know he is good. Just like David he showed faithful to him and blessed him even though that disappointment came when he was expecting a much different outcome. The same thing went for the Israelites the water was bitter and it was not the answer they were expecting and I was thinking to myself as I read this that they should have been so filled with faith after witnessing the parting of the Red sea. I mean why would the Lord bring them through the actual sea and show them his glory to then 3 days later let them die of thirst in the wilderness? It does not make sense and it does not line up with the character of God to just leave them, In fact in Joshua 1:5 he says "As I was with Moses I will never leave you or forsake you". So you would think the Red sea would have encouraged them so much that they would know no matter what he would not leave them. But fear ,doubt , and unbelief clouded their faith filled vision.So what did they do? They cried out to him and Ex. 15:25 says he turned the bitter water into sweetness for them (paraphrasing) . When Pricilla pointed all these things out to me it was so encouraging because no matter what he will not leave me if it is not what I expect or want he will be with me and that is so comforting to know. So when I feel like I am wandering in my wilderness with my baggage and struggles with being a good mother , when my actions toward my kids and husband wreak with the stench of my impatience and yet here I am pregnant with my fourth. When most comments I hear about this pregnancy are "this will be your last...right? The sting of those words somehow feed my insecurities about the kind of mother I am . But just like the Israelites he I will cry out to the Lord just like they did . Pricilla gave some great scriptures 1 Chronicles 5:20 and 2 Samuel 22:7 the Lord hears the cries of his children and not only that he responds ....responds so no matter what he hears and responds but I just need to practice crying out to him and not others first. Well, I know this was long winded but I felt so encouraged by this ... We are never alone and no matter how many kids I have and how many insecurities I harbor he hears and responds and never leaves ....THAT IS AWESOME.... And it brings me hope and encouragement and that is what we have in Jesus! I love him:)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Wilderness

So I am doing this bible study by Pricilla Shirer ....I know what some of you might be thinking and yes I do do studies that are not Beth Moore...lol... So this study is called One in a million and it is based on Exodus about the Israelites and the journey God took them on in "wilderness" very appropriate for this season of my life. So today she talked about how the Lord positioned them for a miracle...He brought them through the wilderness not by accident Pricilla says but on purpose. I was thinking of some of the miracles the Lord has done in my life and what was the situation prior to the miracle almost every single situation I was in a season of wilderness. For instance, when my marriage was failing and I kept thinking what is going on Lord? Why is this happening ? Another thing would happen that would seem worst than the original situation and I would think wait Lord we are going in the wrong direction here . I felt so powerless and out of control and the reality was ...I WAS powerless and had no control and that is when the Lord's strength and power takes over (2 corinth 12:9-10). Now looking back at what seemed to the outside world a very hopeless situation the Lord knew he was positioning me for a miracle. Pricilla also had us read the story of Jonah and what a great story that is and how the Lord allowed the hard circumstances to take place and then "BAM" the fish vomited Jonah out...Hello.. a miracle ...she names other examples as well but I really liked this one and thought to myself how many times do I feel a situation has swallowed me whole? in Jonah 2:5 it says" the engulfing waters threatened me , and deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head." How many of feel the financial situation wrapped tightly around your head or the diagnosis wrapped tightly around your head .Or just simply that you may be feeling that you are surrounded by the deep.Whatever our wilderness or circumstance is right now the Lord is preparing to grow us and I believe positioning us for a miracle to show us his GLORY!!!!! Whether its him using this to draw us closer or deliver us from a stronghold or reveal himself to us in a new way or bring us to a whole new deeper level with him what ever it is it is gonna be goooood. Thank you Lord and so today in the midst of my wilderness ...hallelujah....I am anxiously awaiting my miracle !! Our God is WILLING and ABLE. Just thought I would share that ...
For His Glory,
Leslie